Monday Night Football & Types of Porn I Watch

Starting last week, my roommates implemented a "Monday Night Football Night" which I partake in only because I can drink socially as opposed to drinking by myself. So here I am sippin' my wine, 'watching' football. Since I consider watching male sports a huge waste of my time, I decided to do something constructive on Monday nights, which is to update my blog. Wahoo! So I shall make Monday nights TMI Night so I will at LEAST be updating once a week. Smoley Oley.

As I was brainstorming what to write for tonight, I figured I would just write what I've been meaning to write about for a long time. Types of porn I watch.

I am an avid porn watcher...not that I have it playing in the background for background noise. Porn for me serves one purpose as it does for most girls. But I do watch it if I have ample amounts of free alone time..and lately, my porn sessions are lasting longer than 20 minutes which isn't good. I normally like to get in and get out. So I'm a little alarmed that now I'm watching porn like a guy watches porn. Hm.

But anyways, like I am with my choice of alcohol, clothes-purchasing, and male-choosing, I am very picky with the porn I watch. Since I love to make lists, I think I can deduce the categories of porn I love to 5. So without further adieu, here they are.

1. Asian Girls- Here I'm purely talking about Asian-American porn. This is my least favorite category because Asian girls are so cheesy and overly vocal but I watch it because the Asian girls are usually banging white/non-Asian guys. And I can relate. I heard the porn people prefer (alliteration!) is representative of their real-life sex life. So I watch Asian girls only because it's related to my life. My favorite Asian-American porn stars are Lucy Thai and Lily Thai. 

2.  Lesbian-Because the majority of porn turns women into double-stuffed sex objects, I enjoy watching 'lesbians' because I know when women do each other, it's much more pleasurable for them than a guy ramming his penis into a woman's throat, yahoo, or butthole. If men want to be good in bed, they should just observe and learn from the tactics 'lesbians' use in porn. I like 'lesbians.' 

3. 3somes- Everyone knows I'm obsessed with 3-somes meaning I would like to have one in theory but it'll probably never happen because I doubt I'll ever find two guys in one setting that are worthy of banging. But I don't like watching MMF because it looks more painful than anything. FFM is better because there's usually a lot of #2 going on. 

4. 18-year olds- Okay.. in my defense.. it's not like I get turned on by high-school aged girls. In fact, I usually want to beat up most teenaged girls because they're so stupid. But with 18 year olds, you can be guaranteed they won't have gross fake-tits, botoxed faces, or a misshapen blown-out vagina. I highly doubt most '18-year olds' are actually 18 so that's somewhat of a comfort. So the 'teenage' porn category will assure you somewhat of an attractive female. I can't watch ugly people have sex.

Mhmmmm... PeePee..

5. Japanese/Squirt/Sybian- These are more 'fetish' porn that I watch out of curiosity and fascination than anything else. First, Japanese people are fucking weird perverts. The crazy sexual preferences that Japanese people have prove that they are smarter and more evolved than any other race. Squirt porn is guaranteed that the woman has been pleasured....but it's kind of gross. Yet I'm oddly jealous of their ability to....succeed each round. Sybians are cool because the girl gets off yet she doesn't have to bang anyone new...just a dildo-wielding probe machine. If I were in any kind of porn, it'd be one with a sybian.

I'm going to sleep now. Not editing. I'm leBUZZED and tired. Goooooood night.