October 10, 2011

My Future Husband

As people on my newsfeed on fbook are getting engaged and attending weddings, as others are popping out babies, and as my bestest friend got married the past weekend, I can't help but wonder to myself....how the FUCK are these people ready to  make that big of a commitment when I'm not even CLOSE to doing so? Seriously.

I do NOT think these people are any more mature than I am. In fact, I think I am further along in the path of life than a lot of folks who are settling down and procreating.  However, I just can't IMAGINE being tied down to one person much less having a baby at this point in my life.

I know every time I display my non-readiness for marriage, people probably think I'm just in denial or am concealing the fact that I really DO want to get married. It's not the case, trust me. I know perfectly well on how to have a life-long healthy relationship and of producing a child and raising it better than most any adult my age I know. But right now, even at age 28, I'm just not...ready.

The things I DO know are that I want to get married after 30. I want to have at least three children (I would LOVE 4) and my cut-off for birthing my own child  is 38. If I do not have 3 children by then, I will adopt...and the adopted shall be black children. My ideal situation would be to marry and make babies with a (studly) gay man but since he's gay, I would have the life-long freedom of having lovers outside our "marriage." Think when Carrie was considering marrying Stanford. But that probably won't happen. The point is, I know EXACTLY what I want....it's just NOT NOW. *shudders*

So.... I will now make a list of the qualities my future husband MUST have.

  • He must be rich- I'm sorry but I fucking hate being poor. I've been poor my ENTIRE LIFE. I have seen what opportunities (from having $$) can afford you and the difference having money can make in having an easy life. I know money doesn't buy happiness---blah blah blah. But that statement is for stupid rich people who don't know what it's like to value the real things in life. The sole reason why I need a rich husband ($100,000+/year) is to provide my future children with an awesome life...filled with opportunities and choices that I didn't have growing up. Since I am 95% sure that half of my future children will be adopted and since I want to give as many children the chance to have a better life (via starting an orphanage)...and since I will never get rich as a teacher, the money needs to come from somewhere. Cuz it ain't coming from me. My future husband needs to provide for the family EVEN THOUGH I'll be making my own money... It's FOR OUR CHILDREN. If we end up divorcing, I won't be takin' yo shit cuz I'll always make mine. I'm sorry for the dramatic use of CAPS. I'm kinda drunk. 
  • He must be smarter than me- ie: he must be the leader. Feminist, I may be. But I will never be content with a dude who doesn't take control of a situation and/or doesn't make me look up to him because of his life-knowledge. My favorite boyfriends have been the ones that taught me things I didn't know or led me to become a better, wiser person. Book-smarts don't mean shit to me.  You have to be able to always know what to do and maneuver yourself in a dignified way in ANY given situation. 'Nuff said.
And that's all I ask for...two bullet points. Like I said, I know EXACTLY what I want.. it's just not now. Amen

This entry is solely a reaction to my best friend getting married. I fucking hate it. But congratulations Gina. Aishibal. *rolls eyes*


Oh! Nearing my third month of p90x, I've captured a picture where I actually look buff. But I'm flexing in it, mind you....and I'll be updating with a slew of pics that I took shows progress and needed improvements. 

I need to figure out a way to take more appealing pictures. And yes, the pose I'm doing is totally manly and lesbertarin-ish. I look more feminine I promise...especially naked.

No editing here. I'm tipsy and need to sleep. Good night asshats. <----the most PRETENTIOUS diss ever. What is an asshat anyways? LAME.

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