June 18, 2011

Sum Gurlzzzz

Even though most girls annoy the bejezuz out of me, they are also my #1 source of entertainment (along with watching kids say and do stupid things). You will never find me watching dudes in music videos (unless it's frou-frou Kpop boy bands... but they're like girls anyways so they don't count). I don't like male singers or entertainers. I basically don't like anything with only males in it.

So my all-time favorite girls are BoA, Kim Yuna, Beyonce, Britney, Lady Gaga, basically any platinum-blonde girls who can sing/dance. But here are some unimportant girls that (for now) entertain me.

This went viral about 2 months ago. When I first saw it, BEFORE I saw it, I read a comment that said that this girl was annoying and made stupid facial expressions. So that made me biased and when I first watched it, I thought she was pretty annoying so I stopped after the first "yellow bottle chick" part. (I don't know what she's saying). But after people kept posting it, I decided to give it another chance. While I thought it was annoying (yet again), I couldn't get her voice or her exaggerated facial expressions outta my head. Soon, I had watched it ten times and it grew on me. Next thing you know, I downloaded the song and I listen to it all the time.

I really think the beauty of this cover is the fact that she's a pin-uppy lookin' white girl who raps a ghetto song (very well_. In fact, this group called KARMIN does a lot of covers...most of them are lame and cheesy (but well done). They're talented, no doubt. The girl and the guy are dating...and I think that guy is hot. I LOVE guys who have shaved brown hair and look... like teenage boys. *sigh* I think their cover is 2098234 times better than the original song, which I think is an ear-sore.

I just found out about this girl today via gawker while doing my Saturday morning ritual (waking up around 9 and looking up time-wasting youtube videos for 3 hours). Honestly, I think she's funny...as funny as a hot vanilla white girl can get. But she's also not THAT funny. And 75% of the reason why she's somewhat popular is because she milks the cool, not-dumb, hot girl image. Her name is Jenna Marbles.

As you can see, funny...but at many-a-times, LAME. Half the joy is watching a hot girl make ugly faces...and also it's comforting that not ALL hot white girls talk with that suicide-rendering, fucking highschool-girl voice. Ohmg. I can NEVER take a girl who talks like that seriously. That's why I can't watch the Kardashians for too long.

She's also a go-go dancer. Stomachs like hers always confuse me. They're like well-defined, yet there's a layer of flab that is defined as well.... weird. I guess that's the inevitable flab that develops after you turn 25 where we can never be flabless again. *sigh*

Next up is this girl whom I have NO idea who she is. I just stumbled upon her picture from one of my ex-lover's page. (If you look skanky, albeit have a nice body, in your fbook pic, I will probably click on it if I'm that bored).

So I probably don't have the rights to steal this girl's picture and put it on here especially considering I don't know her and considering the fact that I know people who know her and she probably lives within 5 miles of my house in Atlanta...but I could give 2 flying fucks. I'm just putting it on here because, well, I think she's fucking SO pretty. And I'm VERY hard to please in terms of a girl's prettiness meaning...I normally don't think any female stranger is just, OUTRIGHT beautiful. But this girl is just.... undeniably beautiful in my eyes...like movie star pretty. Perfect face, perfect body. So she can't get mad at me for saying that, at least.

Gosh. I absolutely adore long, lithe, flab-less bodies...yet she has a butt. I'm so jealous. If she wanted to, this girl could be like the ENTIRE package. I wish I was in this package. I would RULE the world. (And YES, I feel like a COMPLETE creepster jacking a stranger's photos and putting it on here and talking in great-length about it).

HOWEVER, the reason why I wanted to also talk about this girl is that I also wanted to display my hatred for gross, clowny, silicone fake melon tits and how they can completely mar a person who is (was) very beautiful NATURALLY.  

I can't believe this girl would do this to herself. I FUCKING hate beach-ball fake tits and this is the reason why. You have this wonderful piece of art...and it's like someone takes a shit on it. It just DOES NOT make sense to me....which can only make me conclude that this girl is merely a pretty package. She's too dumb and asleep to see how she's portraying herself. Combine this with the fact that she works at HOOTERS. Shoot me now. Hooters bitches are the dumbest whores around. If you're going to whore yourself out, go all the way and either be a stripper or a high-class escort. It's such a waste of beauty. So maybe this girl should get mad at me for writing this. Its like my bestie (Erin) said (because they, apparently, went to the same private catholic school): "Her parents must be pissed that they spent all this money on her private education and she turned into a Hooters girl." 

I love Erin. Fuck fake tits.

I have a fascination with white girls.... well, it's a fascination and a revulsion, both at the same time.

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