July 17, 2012

Purple Crayons & Why I Love Them

If you ever want to waste hours of your life on something truly retarded and bad for the world, check out thedirty.com. Wait.. I don't even want to advertise it, it's so stupid. But the reason why I mention it is because the dude who manages the site (who tries to be funny but fails, miserably) calls black dudes 'purple crayons' because of their black penises. Not only is that ridiculously unfunny, it makes no sense. Everyone knows black guys (are rumored to) have big penises so why would he even refer to it as a crayon? Crayons are skinny. Anyways, the reason why I mention that horrendous website is because my sister Ewina asked me one day, when I was wearing big hoop earrings: "You know what that guy says on Dirty.com? That if you wear big hoop earrings, then it's automatic that you like black guys."

I love hoop earrings. My dream is to get score these solid gold earrings.

I have fake gold versions of these that are like $5 at your local Claire's. The solid gold ones are $500+. Hellooooooo sugar daddy!

But it's true. I love me some big hoop earrings and I loooooooooove me some black guys. This developed over my career of guy-boning and now I prefer them over any other race. In fact, if I had to choose a race for my future husband, it'd be a black guy. It's sad because liking black guys has such a stigma attached to it. I bet if I told any random Joe that I was into black guys (especially if this Joe were Korean), they'd inwardly make a face. I mean, there's a whole category of porn dedicated to "my wife fucking a big black stud" as though that is something hugely taboo that it has to become a fetish of some sort. I know why this stigma exist and it's sad that it does. But I, Iroar, will openly admit that I love Black guys. 

Here are the mostly sexual but also non-sexual reasons on why I prefer Black guys: 

  • Their Dick Game- First, I am not talking about the proverbial 'game' that guys 'spit.' I hate that shit. When I experience guys 'spitting game,' my female-boner slackens. Unfortunately, a lotta men, especially Black guys, are into 'spitting game.' (On that note, I know most Black guys are not the best ones to have a relationship with. That's not me being racist... this knowledge comes from personal experience and the experience of my friends. But I'm not here to go into all that. I'm solely focusing on their bed skillz). Black guys really bring a different sort of...vibe to a boinkfest. Unlike other dudes who think girls enjoy jackrabbit sex or just boring, slow, unrhythmic humping, (many) Black dudes seem to treat thrusting as an art, which it should be. It's kind of like dancing. Have you ever seen the way a white dude dances compared to a black dude? Totally different...though Channing Tatum would give a black dude a run for his money. The first Black dude I was with was adamant in me 'watching' how he would swirl and gyrate his hips. Totally cheesy but it got the job done...very well. Let me provide a video link to give you an idea what many Black men are capable of doing.....   
Pretty sure he's gay...but that type of movement is totally hot...
  • Bodies-I know just like in every race of America, fat people are abound. But with a Black guy, there's  a better chance that he will be more naturally toned than the average fatass. Same with Black girls. I'm jealous that a lot of them have natural toneness that I would have to work years to attain. The level of toneness I have right now, it took me YEARS to get to the level whereas it would serve as a baseline body for a toned Black girl. I was never into muscly men....but I think I will add that qualification for my future husband/boyfriend because muscle translates to being fit and being fit means a long-lasting erection. I dislike being boned by a semi...something that typically comes with an unfit man. Plus, it looks good.
  • Freakiness- I love men who are...flavorful. Most of the other-raced guys I've been with have been... bland... you know, just p in the v, maybe a slap here and there and some dirty words thrown around...that's the height of their freakiness.  The men of color I've had, on the other hand, had some kind of freak in them. Not all...but 3/4 is a pretty high ratio.  
  • Dominance- Hand in hand with freakiness is a man's tendency to be dominant. I mean, you're not freaky if you are too much of a pussy to tell me what you want or if I'm doing something wrong (or right). Every Black dude I've been with doesn't hesitate in telling me what he wants and how he wants it and what I should be doing. I love that.
  • Socially Unacceptable- One thing I haven't really managed to grow out of is trying to make a statement to people by doing things that are socially unacceptable. For example, I have dreadlocks for a variety of reasons but one of them is that it is shocking, especially for an Asian girl to have them. Another example is this blog. I realize I write about things that are taboo and advertently shocking. I do it to prove that I don't care whether others judge me on what I think and write ie: how I live my life. It is the same with me dating a Black guy. Regardless of how far our society seemingly has come in regards to race, I still think that interracial dating, ESPECIALLY between any race with Black is deemed as taboo. Especially if it is a Black guy with another raced female. An Asian girl with a Black guy, I feel, is the most unseen and taboo...and I love walking around with a Black beau. People look at us like "wutda" and I want to be like "that's right bitches." *flaps hands*  

I know this entry comes off as borderline racist. Sorry, I see race. I'm not going to pretend that race and racial differences don't exist because they do. I bet if those super "intelligent" gawker-readers read this, I would be criticized to the bone. Luckily, no assholes like that read my blog. 

I really don't intend to be racist. I just love to have sex with (some) Black men and overall, every guy I've been scoping out has been Black. These are the main reasons why I prefer them the most now out of any race. 

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