January 3, 2012

Productivity

I'm so proud of myself because having an actual day off with no homework or no lesson planning, I've actually been able to do stuff. Since I'm not a social person, my idea of fun is toking in my car and then going to run errands. The drive is half the fun. It has to be a solo activity. Even cooking while listening to music can be pleasurable, as I hate cooking. I'm such a boring person. Maybe I'm so productive because I'm proud of not for drinking last night and having no plans to drink tonight either.

Part of my productive day is eating healthy. Long vacations are relaxing but I eat like a fat girl. So even though I fucking did not want to return back to MD and re-start my reality, I did kind of want to return to eating healthy and exercising. Today I will do cardio (bleh) and p90x? Here's to hoping!

My sitemeter reveals that most of my visitors come here to view "before and after p90x bodies." So, to all you probably fat people who are trying to become healthier, this is how you should eat if you want to lose weight (and kudos to you in taking the first step! Fat is gross).

I think this is the first time I ever took a picture of my meal. As you can see, I do not believe in presentation. Throw the shit into a bowl.
That is a half-slab of tofu atop some greens/spinach, grape tomatoes and sliced mushrooms with half an avocado. I just sauteed the tofu in very little Hoisin sauce (trust me...very little goes a long way) and that omits the need for salad dressing (the culprit to faux-healthy salads). Notice, the only thing I'm drinking is water. That's all you need. Fuck flavored water, that Crystal Light shit and diet sodas (the WORST). JUST. DRINK. WATER.

It wasn't the best meal but I feel it was pretty balanced in terms of fat, carbs, protein. In case you are wondering where the carbs are in this meal, there aren't any because I ate a bagel for breakfast.

Ew. That might be the most boring thing I ever wrote about. But look what else my sitemeter turned up that tickled my fancy:

Domain Namek12.hi.us ? (U.S.)
IP Address165.248.247.# (Hawaii Dept. of Education)
ISPHawaii Dept. of Education
Location
Continent : North America
Country : United States  (Facts)
State : Hawaii
City : Honolulu
Lat/Long : 21.3139, -157.8245 (Map)
LanguageEnglish (U.S.)
en-us
Operating SystemMacintosh MacOSX
BrowserSafari 1.3
Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; Intel Mac OS X 10_6_8) AppleWebKit/534.52.7 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/5.1.2 Safari/534.52.7
Javascriptversion 1.5
Monitor
Resolution : 1280 x 800
Color Depth : 24 bits
Time of VisitJan 4 2012 3:36:01 am
Last Page ViewJan 4 2012 3:38:46 am
Visit Length2 minutes 45 seconds
Page Views6
Referring URLhttp://search.aol.co...com%2F2011_08_01_arc
Search Enginesearch.aol.com
Search Wordsasian anal

Obviously I enlarged and colored the asian anal search words. Hahahahahaha...what perverted administrator or teacher is searching for asian anal while on the job?? I can't even go on Facebook at my school.

Speaking of anal, I'm gonna go watch some porn now...not anal porn cuz that's guh-ross. It's been a loooooooong time. Write later tonight! Gooooooo no-drinking Iroar!
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The productivity continues.

I did it! I made the TUMBLR and so far, I've not drank anything. I don't even want to. I feel weird.

Here's the link to my site.
Click on picture!
http://queenoffatkiller.tumblr.com/
But just in case you are too lazy or technologically inept to find my About Me, I shall copy and paste for you.

THE QUEEN

For now, I won’t state my true identity but I shall in the near future. 
I am 28 years old, female, graduate student in Maryland studying elementary education. That’s right, I’ll be your child’s future teacher.
I am a fat-tist.
Now, fat, to me, can be used interchangeably with several words, primarily,unhealthy. You can be skinny and unhealthy (like models who snort cocaine and eat two peas/day). But if you have jiggly fat on your body, I don’t care WHAT you say, you are not as healthy as you can be. And, you most likely look kinda gross…naked.
When I use ‘fat’ to describe anything on this blog, it means that you are unsightly. But guess what? YOU have the power to not to jiggle and look gross. You just have to get off your ass, eat healthy, drink water, think positively, and sleep a lot. It’s that simple. I’ll help you. 
By healthy, I mean fit and toned. In shape… physically/mentally healthy. If you are skinny and jiggly, you are not healthy. In fact, you are worse than fat-jiggly people because how can you be skinny AND jiggly? That just makes no sense. So get off your ass and exercise. 
WHY YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO ME: 
  • I do not have any certifications or rewards in physical fitness. However, I am 5’9, weigh 135 and I’ve maintained this weight ever since I was 21. I rarely fluctuate. Fluctuating is bad for you. Look it up. That said, I think I know what works. At least for me. 
  • Working out is my hobby. It’s my ONLY hobby(see bullet 5). Granted, I don’t spend oodles of time researching shit; however, within the 8 years I’ve been working out and eating healthily, I’ve accrued a bit of knowledge on different kinds of workouts/foods that’ll help you have an awesome body. I’m old. Listen to me.
  • Being that I’m old, I am experiencing the slowing of one’s digestive system. It sucks. A lot of the ‘fitness inspiration’ sites I’ve seen are made by fucking teenagers and early 20 year olds. Those bitches are naturally skinny. They should not be ‘thinspirations.’ At that age, you have no excuse! 
  • On that note, most other fitness inspiration healthy food bullshit pages are fucking boring. At least I can make fitness funny…or if you don’t find it funny, interesting.
  • I have not been majorly sick in 203948808234 years…and I’m a teacher. I am SURROUNDED by disease-infested children ALL DAY LONG. Yet, I NEVER get sick. That’s a sign that I know how to be healthy because a rock-hard immune system is a sign of being healthy. Look it up.
  • I believe 90% of the population can be healthy if they wanted to be. I am VERY skeptical of those idiots that say they have something wrong with their pituitary gland. Give me a doctor’s note…otherwise, you’re just lazy. 
  • I am surrounded by unhealthy fat people. I live in America. 63% of us are overweight or obese. That’s fucking disgusting. Having a very keen eye for unhealthy behaviors, I know exactly what makes a person unable to lose weight in a healthy manner. I want to point it out, but that annoys people. So I’ll just write it on here.
  • I may bitch about being healthy… but I do have a downfall. I am an alcoholicand have been one for five years. It took me five years to admit it and I still question whether I truly am. But for my own safety and the safety of others, I am trying to improve my alcoholism. I will NEVER be a teetotaler, but I do have to get it in control. The more people take interest in this site, the more likely I will be to update and abstain from alcohol. The birth of this Tumblr is the second day of my being sober…and by sober, I mean not drinking. I smoke weed. Smoking weed, to me, is a part of my mental health.
WHY (perhaps) YOU SHOULD NOT LISTEN TO ME:
  • I do not like to eat. If I had to omit a necessity in life, food would be it. I think it’s a waste of time and money…but I have to survive so I do it. Most fat people are fat because their feelings are tied to food. I don’t get it, but apparently it is a huge reason for people being fat. But hey, we all have our addictions. If you are one of those emotional eaters, you probably cannot relate to me like I cannot relate to you. I have no empathy for emotional eaters. Would you rather stuff your face and be fat AND sad? Or would you rather NOT stuff your face, be healthy, and feel better about yourself cuz you’re not jiggling everywhere? That said, it’s easier for me to be healthy because I don’t like to eat. I’m biased. If I offer recipes or food ideas, they probably won’t be the richest kinds of foods, garnished and delicately placed on an extravagant plate so that you can also enjoy looking at what you’re eating. Fuck that. If, however, you want to eat food that doesn’t clog your arteries and aren’t processed with questionable chemicals, then I can help you.
  • I’m Asian so I’m genetically more unlikely to gain weight than white/black/brown people. Sorry, we got the longer end of the stick in that area. If it makes you feel better though, I’m lacking an ass being Asian. So again, I cannot relate to you people who are ‘genetically predisposed’ to being fat. But as I’ve mentioned before, I don’t believe most people who say that.
  • Apparently, I tend to piss people off because of the generalizations I make. Whatevs. If you don’t like it, buck off mate. 
  • There’s only (really) two reasons why you shouldn’t listen to me. The pros outweigh the cons. You do the math and read me… if not for practical ways to be healthy, at least for entertainment.
<3 you. Bye. 

I decided it to be anonymous for now because people are annoyingly hostile towards fat-tists.

Let's see if I follow through with this. I felt surprisingly impassioned whilst writing the (very long) blurb. 

2nd night-success!

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